cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
