Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
