you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
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My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
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Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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