id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Small penises have feelings too.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
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