Whod you bang
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
