dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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