Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
