i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"