Porn is love you can see.
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?