So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize