I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Everyone says I win the strip club
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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