My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
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6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
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I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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