This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Randomize
