I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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