Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Randomize
