Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
