Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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