i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
