it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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