i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
