i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
