they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Randomize
