the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
In America we eat man semen.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Randomize