Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
You may now shotgun with the bride
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Randomize
