he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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