I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
