I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
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