I think my vagina is haunted
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I pour the whiskey from now on
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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