Plan B is the new Plan A
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Randomize
