Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
