they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
