she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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