So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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