i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
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all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Dear god my vagina.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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