if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
