Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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