After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
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