I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
