oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
