you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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