This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet