Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.