I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.