ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
