she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
