I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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