I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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