She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
