ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Everclear isn't food dammit
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
