Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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