I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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