apparently the secret to your success is patron
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
i think i just lost a toe
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
