fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
