First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Will exercising make me less horny?
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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