Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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