yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
