Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
