So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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