I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
