I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
